Behind Bars
by YoKaiShoubiao
Summary: Kirby has been taken to a Haltmann Works Company Prison Camp! Now, he must survive Open Showers, Sarcastic Halacandrans, Librarians with Tasers, Food that is literally called EEW, and the Prospect of Having King Dedede as a roommate. Made with 5% real wheat, 94% Caustic Chemicals, and 1% complete lack of care for prisoners!
1. Intellimagence

**(((AN: Dajia Hao! It is me, YKSB, procrastinating on updating my other fanfictions while starting new ones...Yay? Anyway, Qing Xiǎngyòng!)))**

Kirby blinked as he woke up and found himself in a moving thing he didn't recognize.

"Looks like someone decided to wake up! About time!"

"Peace, Dedede."

Kirby looked at his two friends, who seemed to be stuck in the vehicle with him.

"Meta! Dedede! What's going on?

Kirby started walking around the vehicle. "Where's Galaxia? Where's your Hammer?"

Meta Knight shrugged. "They took them away from us."

"And destroyed my castle!"

"I don't know what this thing is or where it's taking us."

"They destroyed my castle!"

Meta Knight sighed. "Annnd they destroyed Dedede's Castle."

"Dat's King Dedede to you!"

The next fifteen minutes were completely silent.

"100 Maxim Tomatoes on the wall, 100 Maxim Toma-toooes, take one down, pass it around, 100 Maxim Tomatoes on the wa-"

"Keep it down back there!" yelled the Driver.

Kirby peeked up front. "Magolor?"

Magolor looked at them from the driver's seat and shrugged. "I don't like this either, but I need the money."

When they arrived at a giant metal ball, the thing floated up into it. It brought them face to face with a rainbow tower with an eye at the top. Magolor pushed Kirby onto a Glowing Circle while uttering, "Sorry". The eye stared down at him.

"DIAGNOSIS: POWER LEVEL TOO HIGH FOR MECHANIZATION. SEND TO CAMP."

Magolor took Kirby off of the platform.

He then put King Dedede on the platform.

"DIAGNOSIS: INTELLIGENCE LEVEL TOO LOW FOR MECHANIZATION."

"What? I'm intellimagent!"

"SEND TO CAMP."

Next, it was Meta Knight's turn.

"DIAGNOSIS: PERFECT STATS. COMMENCE MECHANIZATION."

"Congrats, Meta!" yelled Dedede as they dragged the Star Warrior off.

"Uh...Dedede? They're turning him into a robot," said Magolor.

"Oh..."

Star Dream spoke up again. "DIAGNOSIS: EMPLOYEE OF CONFLICTING LOYALTY. SEND TO CAMP."

"WHAT?!" yelled Magolor.

As the three were shoved into one of the moving wheelie things, Kirby spoke. "Isn't this exciting? We're going to Summer Camp!"

"Uh...Kirby? We're going to a PRISON camp."

"Oh..."

 **(((Poor Magolor. It seems like he's trapped with a Royal Idiot and a Cloudcuckoolander. Tune in next time for more! Zai Jiaaaaan!)))**


	2. Welcome to Buttface Prison

**(((I don't update often. Thought you should know.)))**

As Kirby, Dedede, and Magolor rolled along, they went through a gate labeled...

"Buttface Prison?"

"I believe it is pronounced 'Byoot.'"

Dedede snickered. "I'm still calling it Buttface."

As they rolled through the gate labeled, "Butte Face Prison," Kirby could only think of one thing:

Food.

As Kirby dreamed of Strawberry Shortcake and Chicken Drumsticks, the wheelie thing stopped. The robot driver stared at them, saying, "YOU HAVE ARRIVED. EXITING TRANSPORTATION CUBICLE IN 5 SECONDS."

Dedede harrumphed. "I'll exit your dumb transportamajigger when I want to! Now go rebuild my castllllllleee!"

Dedede's seat had revealed itself to be an ejector seat.

][][][][][

"Come on, Magolor! Don't be so grumpy! Try and make the best of it!"

"And if there's no best to be made of it?"

"Um..."

Their conversation was interrupted by Dedede screaming, then landing next to Kirby.

Right on top of Magolor.

"I'm okay!" yelled Dedede.

"I'm not..." groaned Magolor.

"WELCOME! to Butte Face Prison!"

Kirby covered his ears as some woman with a megaphone shouted in them.

"My name's Susie, and I'll be your guide to the place you're going to spend quite a while at!"

"My ears..."

She brought them inside the prison to show them around, passing propoganda posters with messages such as, "A Mechanized Planet is a Happy Planet!" and "I WANT YOU to work for Haltmann."

"This is our cafeteria, where we serve gourmet food 24/7! But only at mealtimes."

Kirby looked in to see Sir Kibble receiving bile-colored slop on his tray. The robot who served it to him spoke, "SUSTENANCE UNIT COMPLETE. INGEST."

Kirby shook his head and kept walking.

When they were done with the tour, Susie showed them to a shed with three blanket-covered rocks. "This is where you three will be staying!"

Kirby did a double-take. "The...The...Three of us?!"

"Yep! You three will be roommates!"

"With Him?" spoke all of them. Dedede pointed at Magolor. Magolor and Kirby pointed at Dedede.

"Have Fun!" yelled Susie before closing the cell.

"I'm hungry. I'll go get Lunch," said Dedede.

"I'm gonna take a nap," yawned Kirby.

"I am also hungry."

A grin spread across the Halacandran's face.

"Hungry...For freedom."

 **(((Uh oh. What's Magolor Planning? Is Susie deafening people on purpose? Will I ever update this story again? Find out next time! Zai Jiaaaaan!)))**


End file.
